Sheepylady Farm

~~~~~The Awakening~~~~~
A time comes in your life when you finally get it . .
when in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out:
ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin
to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back
your
tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to
look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it`s time to stop
hoping and waiting for something to change or for
happiness, safety and security to come galloping over
the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that
he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella
and that in the real world there aren`t always fairy
tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that
any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with
you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of
acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and
that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or
approve of who or what you are ... and that`s OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.)
And
you learn the importance of loving and championing
yourself and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self approval.

You stop bitching and blaming other people for the
things they did to you (or didn`t do for you,) and you
learn that the only thing you can really count on
is the unexpected. You learn that people don`t always
say what they mean or mean what they say and that not
everyone will always be there for you and that it`s
not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your
own and to take care of yourself, and in the process a
sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to
accept people as they are and to overlook their
shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a
sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself,
and the world around you, is as a result of all the
messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche. You begin to sift through all the crap
you`ve been fed about how you should behave, how you
should look, how much you should weigh, what you
should wear, where you should shop, what you should
drive, how and where you should live, what you should
do for a living, who you should sleep with, who
you should marry, what you should expect of a
marriage, the importance of having and raising
children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing
and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you`ve outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with ,
and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.
And that there is power and glory in creating and
contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity
are not the outdated ideals of a bye gone era but the
mortar that holds together the foundation upon which
you must build a life.

You learn that you don`t know everything, that it`s
not your job to save the world and that you can`t
teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between
guilt and responsibility, and you learn the importance
of setting
boundaries and of learning to say NO. You learn that
the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love: Romantic love and familiar love. You
learn how to love, how much to give in love, when to
stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not be more
beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important
because of the man or woman on your arm or the child
that bears your name.

You learn to look at
relationships as they really are and not as you would
have them be. You stop trying to control people,
situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people
grow and change so it is with love.

And you learn that you don`t have the right to demand
love on your terms. And, you learn that alone does not
mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to
terms with the fact that you will never be a size
5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with
the image inside your head and agonizing over how you
"stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting
your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and
ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of
entitlement are perfectly OK, and you learn that it is
your right to want things and to ask for the things
that you want--and that sometimes it is necessary to
make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be
treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect
and you decide you won`t settle for less. And you
allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you
to glorify you with his or her touch . . . and in the
process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple.
And you begin to care for it and treat it with
respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking
more water, and taking more time to exercise. You
learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can
create doubt and fear.

So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our
soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part, in life, you get
what you believe you deserve . . . and that much of
life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn
that anything worth achieving is worth working for and
that wishing for something to happen is different than
working toward making it happen. More importantly,
you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it`s OK
to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is
the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You
learn to step right into and through your fears,
because you know that whatever happens you can handle
it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to
live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for
your life and not to squander it living under a cloud
of impending doom. You learn that life isn`t always
fair, you don`t always get what you think you deserve
and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.

On these occasions you learn not to
personalize things. You learn that God isn`t punishing
you or failing to answer your prayers. It`s just life
happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal
state: the ego. You learn that negative feelings such
as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and
redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you
and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn
to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges
instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many
of the simple things we take for granted, things that
millions of people upon the earth can only dream
about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a
soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself, and you make yourself a promise never to
betray yourself and never, ever to settle
for less than your heart`s desire.

And you hang a wind
chime outside your window so you can listen to the
wind. And you make a point to keep smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a deep
breath and you begin to design the life you want to
live as best as you can.